Sex on false promise of marriage = Rape?

Since past few years , we have been coming across many incidents of accusations of rape by women against  their  lovers who  got intimate with them on the pretext of marriage but the  relationship  did not end up in marriage. Last year a lawyer filed a complaint against her former lover accusing him of rape as their relationship, that involved sexual relations, broke down after many years of dating. In response to her complaint, Bombay High Court had to come up with a judgement  that consensual sexual relationships are not rape if they don’t end up in marriage. This progressive  judgement was applauded by Indian youth. I too second this judgement. Sex is sex and rape is rape. Sex is an act that is done in the moment to experience pleasure or intimacy with someone and involves consent of both the parties. Rape on the other act is a forceful act committed by one person without considering the other person’s consent. If the logic is so crystal clear, then what makes these ‘educated’ women defy common sense and accuse their lover of rape.

I think this mentality stems from India’s obsession with virginity (especially woman’s) before marriage. Although the trend is changing nowadays but still there is a huge section of conservatives in India that equates sex with marriage. This is more relevant in case of women whose virginity is kept on the pedestal. Men are still forgiven but women are obliged to be pure. This results women internalizing this belief and any kind of sexual relationship before marriage is seen as a danger  unless it culminates into marriage. Indian attitude towards sex refuses to see it as natural process and rather sees it  as a result of evil and impure intentions. So when two people have sex and the relationship later turns sour later, it is usually presumed that the girl has been ‘used’. Then, India grooms  looking for a virgin bride isn’t an uncommon scenario.

We need to do away with this mentality of putting virginity on pedestal. Only then can we expect Indian women get more liberated and more open minded towards their relationships.

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One response to “Sex on false promise of marriage = Rape?

  1. This is something which even I fail to understand. Such instances might be called cheating, but giving them the status of a rape only ridicules the effect heinous crime that rape is.

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